7 Things I Learned from Being in an International Relationship

And if you’ve never had a sexy Brazilian man whisper flirtatious flattery in your ear, well, I suggest you book your first post-pandemic flight down to Rio de Janeiro and see what happens next.

Since I built my own fully digital career back in 2018, I’ve called a handful of countries home and fleetingly traveled through even more. (Though that’s currently on pause, for obvious reasons.)

Consequently, my love life has been pretty damn interesting.

Whether a fling on board a Great Barrier Reef dive boat or an ongoing romance across multiple continents, I’ve had my fair share of situationships with people from all over the globe.

Falling in love (or lust) with someone from another country is a bit like hopping on a roller coaster with a blindfold on. The twists and turns are even less predictable than a typical relationship, but hell, the drop is epic and now I’m hooked.

Apart from how to hide a breakup cry sesh on a plane with the grace of a gazelle, here’s what I’ve learned along the way.

Cultural differences can be tricky, but they add wonder to the simplest things

Misunderstandings are natural, but they should always be addressed. Differing communication patterns might mean your partner doesn’t even know how or why they’ve upset you — so, speak up if you can.

On the lighter end, some of your jokes may fall flat due to cultural gaps, but oftentimes the differences between you and your partner can prove to be an incredible strength.

Cooking dinner together can be more entertaining than an episode of “Chopped.” And arguments over how to pronounce the word “aluminum” can become a favorite pastime.

Too many times to count, I’ve found myself marveling with joy over the most mundane things in my international relationships.

Learning about another culture through the stories of someone you deeply care for is an unfathomably beautiful experience.

Relationship expectations vary greatly among countries

I don’t know about you, but my fight-or-flight response goes off at lightning speed when someone tries to make me their wife right off the bat.

Personally, when it comes to relationships, I like to say I’m “always just chilling, until I’m not.” In other words, I’m usually not looking for anything specific until it hits me in the face — like a (very attractive) brick.

I’ve experienced both sides of the coin: dodging dudes with wedding rings but also seeking commitment in others who seem oblivious to the concept.

I’ve had people tell their parents about me a week after we meet and others who just permanently avoid the topic of dating.

It’s a toss-up.

If it hasn’t already happened in your home country, be prepared to encounter a wildly different timeline than your own.

Either way, one of the more endearing lessons I’ve learned is that nearly everyone wants the same thing, regardless of where they come from: kick-ass human connection, and lots of it.

We’re a sensitive species at heart, even if our respective countries’ societal norms taught some to wear armor.

There isn’t a global standard for emotional expression

Now, I’m a highly emotive American woman who will dish out her thoughts faster than many. But not everyone grows up in a society conducive to vulnerability — or one with many emotions whatsoever.

At times, I may have overwhelmed people with my assertive admissions of feelings, wrongfully assuming that it’s just as easy for them to share what’s going on in their minds.

In 2019, the analytics company Gallup published a report on global emotions after surveying people from over 140 countries and territories about their daily emotional experiences.

People were asked yes or no questions about whether they experienced five positive and five negative emotions in the past day.

According to the results, Latin American countries were among the world’s most emotional with high volumes of “yes” responses about experiencing a wide range of emotions — most of them being positive.

I didn’t exactly need Gallup to lead me to that conclusion — the “I love you” eyes from a myriad of gentlemen on the dance floor in Colombia were a solid clue — but it’s fascinating to see a numerical connection.

Our environments shape both what and how much we feel, and culture plays a massive role in that.

Long distance isn’t (always) the end of the world

There’s long distance — and then there’s looong distance. Traveling from Minneapolis to Milwaukee sounds like a breeze when you compare it to living in Tokyo with a lover in Tanzania.

Difficult as it may be, it’s not doomed. There are plenty of ways to make long-distance relationships work.

Plus, even though it might be frustrating, the general ebb and flow of daily life can pull you and your partner in opposite directions, ultimately making periods apart feel semi-normal.